The Wonky Gnome

The Wonky Gnome
Era	18th century Wikipedianism (Modern Wikipedianism)
Region	Eminent Wikipedians
School	Polymathy, social democracy
Main interests	Polymathy, history, hats, Walpolean Whiggery, literary theory, lexicography, celestial navigation
Notable ideas	Whig history, aphorisms, marine chronometry, turnips

The Wonky Gnome (born August 1 1714) is an esteemed Wikipedia user, renowned Enlightenment thinker, historian, politician, poet, milliner, cheesemonger, agricultural reformer, navigator, lexicographer, literary theorist and little-acknowledged inventor of the marine chronometer. He has gathered considerable interest through his advanced age, being almost 300 years old. He has attributed his survival to the salutary effects of accumulation of knowledge.

Early life

The Wonky Gnome, born Ignatius Woolsey, was born in Leadenhall Street, City of London, to a family of prominent cheesemongers, who were reputed to make "the best Cheshire cheese this side of the Pennines". Certainly their cheese had distinguished admirers, with luminaries such as Henry Purcell, Nahum Tate and Robert Spencer, 2nd Earl of Sunderland, being frequent visitors to their shop.

His parents had always expected him to go into the cheese business and this, in fact, is what he initially did. Having learned the ropes of curdling and turning cheese, he became something of a child prodigy. In fact, the popularity of his cheese exceeded that of his parents'. A typical comment comes from Samuel Richardson:

His Double Gloucester is truly worth a king's ransom.