User talk:Amran.aden/sandbox
Latest comment: 5 years ago by Ian (Wiki Ed) in topic Feedback
Amran.aden After looking over find articles on the class wiki page, there were two articles I found interesting that were in the S class. First one is Mentalism (psychology) and the second one is identity. Another thing I want to mention is that I cannot see what you posted.Trenzalore96 (talk) 02:27, 6 February 2019 (UTC)
Feedback
edit@Amran.aden and Trenzalore96: Nice work on your draft. Some feedback
- You need a longer lead section. Your lead section should summarize all the main points of the article. Your current three-sentence lead doesn't do this effectively.
- The history section should probably come first - that's the most common way that Wikipedia articles on topics like this are laid out.
- The existing mentalism article has sections entitled "Performance approaches" and "Mentalist or magician". If you plan to remove them, you should explain the removal on the article's talk page. You should also make sure that you add your content and remove any existing sections in separate edits - that way, if someone disagrees with your removal of the sections, they can just undo the edit where you removed the section, leaving your additions in place.
- Think about tense - you say E.B. Holt defines mentalism, but he's been dead since 1946, so it should be "defined".
- Only the first word of your section headers should be capitalized, and they shouldn't repeat the article title. You should think of ways to re-title your sections (e.g., something like "Comparison with behaviorism" rather than "Mentalism vs Behaviorism").