User talk:AnchorsAway10/sandbox

Feedback on contribution draft

These comments are in no particular order:

• Beware of naked this. What is being demonstrated by the survey you want to include? This what?
• Affect/effect confusion
• "social experiment" seems an odd phrase. Didn't the researchers conduct a straightforward survey? How come "social experiment?"
• Since you are including the survey results under arguments for inclusion, do you think you could characterize the survey outcome in a way that would help a reader frame the discreet response summaries? In other words, is there a neutral way to frame all those numbers, preface them so the reader understand how what's coming is "for inclusion?" You do so at the end, but it might be most useful at the beginning.
• The syntax of the sentence that begins, "after statistical analysis" is wonky. At the moment, the respondents to the survey questions were the ones doing the statistical analysis. That's not what you mean. And, if you feel the need to announce the researchers' statistical manipulation, you may want to be specific about the statistical tools employed and/or why the researchers employed them. Otherwise, is the phrase needed at all?
• Just wondering if the researchers' hypotheses were confirmed or not. In other words, were these the results they were expecting? Were they the results military brass were expecting? Might be an avenue for expansion or further discussion. Jagrif02 (talk) 15:40, 18 October 2016 (UTC)
• An addition - See the Wiki Manual of Style for how to format titles.Jagrif02 (talk) 16:04, 18 October 2016 (UTC)