User talk:Emarieg15/sandbox

Major Points

The author covers the most important factors of this topic very well. The information is concise and communicated well. Some of the wording can be edited slightly to increase the professional tone needed for encyclopedic writing. One example is in the first section (definition) the terms boys and girls are used. The author could consider changing these to males and females. That way an age is not implied (as it would be with using men and women). Another example would be (again in the definition section) "carried out to a person's face". The author could consider using "...carried out through direct communication or through the use of technology..". The phrase "putting someone down" could be substituted with "make one feel inferior by...". Cliches often sound too casual, which is something to be avoided in this type of writing. There is a sentence in the section "who does what to whom" that reads "Other researchers cite similar evidence" with a citation number. This citation number could be considered moving to the previous sentence discussing the findings. Or if the findings aren't similar enough to cite the previous statement with the citation, the sentence should be removed.

Minor Points

The author covers the statistics well in the section about prevalence. It is easy to read, despite the high volume of numbers. One thing to bring to the author's attention is the use of a number (the last sentence in the prevalence section) at the beginning of the sentence (it should be spelt out in words). Also, the section called "Who does what to whom" could be shorted and made more concise. Maybe something like "Targets of Sexual Bullying" or even just "Targets". Narehsahakian (talk) 04:34, 18 November 2015 (UTC)

Major Points

The way the topic is introduced is done well. I suggest in the definition section to spell out "NSPCC" then have NSPCC in brackets with the link. The author can use other words than "boys" and "girls" in the text. The sentence "Definitions and descriptions of bullying..." can come before "Beatbullying has a similar...". Also there is a sentence that ends with ",however." can be just taken out. I would look into the sentences that begin with numbers and suggest starting with a word instead.

Minor Points

Double check grammar and sentence structures. The citing is done well and adding links helps with understanding. The section "Further reading" is a unique way to add more material. Mairaeo (talk) 00:48, 19 November 2015 (UTC)

Context Memo - Emarieg15

Link to my Sandbox: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Emarieg15/sandbox

Link to the article: Sexual Bullying: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_bullying#cite_note-Ref1_Phys_Health_Disparities-16

I have added a section to the page, "Sexual bullying", titled, “Associated effects and risks”, as well as changed a section title, from “Who does what to whom” to “Types of interactions”. I originally chose "Sexual bullying" because it is a subject I find interesting, was a page that needed development, and was also related to my P2 literature review topic (sexual abuse/victimization and effects). I believe Wikipedia should accept my contribution because knowing the risks and effects associated with sexual bullying could help contribute to further research on the subject as well as possible treatments and prevention methods. Finally, to the best of my knowledge, I believe this page keeps a NPOV, and meets the standards for non-triviality, quality/notability, and credibility.

Context Memo 2 - Emarieg15

Link to my Sandbox: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Emarieg15/sandbox

Link to the article: Sexual Bullying: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_bullying#cite_note-Ref1_Phys_Health_Disparities-16

Link to my stub: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adverse_Childhood_Experiences_International_Questionnaire_(ACE-IQ)

During Project 3, I have written in my Sandbox to establish drafts of articles I am creating/adding to. I added a section to the page, "Sexual bullying", titled, “Associated effects and risks”, as well as changed a section title, from “Who does what to whom” to “Types of interactions”, and added information in the definition to establish a global perspective. I have interacted with a Wikipedia editor on this page by running by my ideas on the Talk page, while attempting to abide by Wikipedia’s standards of interaction. I have also written on talk pages for two classmates, Nareh and Maira, in the form of peer reviews, while including a brief context memo on my talk page to guide my peers. I also began a stub before realizing the existence of a similar, comprehensive page on ACE (adverse childhood events). Since there is a page on the Adverse Childhood Experiences Study, I created a stub on the Adverse Childhood Experiences International Questionnaire (ACE-IQ), which has been accepted and created as a Start-Class page. I have also linked the ACE Study Wikipedia page to the “Associated effects and risks” section I created on the “Sexual Bullying” page.

In response to feedback from peers, I attempted to clarify information and make sure it was obvious why some facts were included. I also tried to add even more to the page than originally intended and created a stub to increase contribution. I originally chose "Sexual bullying" because it is a subject I find interesting, was a page that needed development, and was also related to my P2 literature review topic (sexual abuse/victimization and effects). I believe my contribution on the risks and effects associated with sexual bullying is important because understanding these could help contribute to further research on the subject as well as possible treatments and prevention methods. I also believe that my contribution in the definition of this page is necessary for the Wikipedia community because it helps keep a global perspective (by putting the term on the map).

Acknowledgements I’d like to thank user, Penbat, on Wikipedia for guiding me in my research for the “Sexual bullying” page. I’d also like to take this time to thank my peers—not only Nareh and Maira who wrote me individual peer reviews, but also the AWD class as a whole who gave me advice and pointers for further revision and Wikipedia contribution.