Flemingrjf
Hello there! It looks like you created your user page in your sandbox. When you create your user page, your name will no longer appear red. Welcome to Wikipedia! =) Biosthmors (talk) 19:16, 22 January 2013 (UTC)
assignment topic
editI think that mTOR looks like a great topic for both your lecture and for the WikiProject. The mTOR pathway does split with the two different complexes, so you may end up working on all three articles, but now that they have been split apart, some editing and rewriting seems needed. Biolprof (talk) 21:05, 7 February 2013 (UTC)
Assignment 3 copy editing
editI have highlighted some sentences and phrases that I would like for you to clarify or edit, but did not feel comfortable manipulating myself, due to my lack of knowledge on the topic. Your own writing is in quotation marks, followed by my observations. (They are not necessarily in order of how you wrote them, sorry!)
- "It is important to note, that only the mTORc1 complex has been shown to be inhibited by rapamycin."
- This sentence seems out of place in the rest of the paragraph. Could you either elaborate on it, integrate it better, or place it elsewhere? (It's in the second paragraph, sixth sentence.)
- "The NR (negative regulatory) domain is the putative negative regulatory region of the mTOR complexes."
- This is redundant. Could you rephrase the latter portion somehow? I realize you can't rename the domain itself, of course.
- "The mammalian target of rapamycin (mTOR) is considered a 'master switch' of cellular processes"
- Where did you get the phrase "master switch?" Please cite it appropriately or remove the single quotation marks, which are misleading.
- "the initial mTOR protein"
- What do you mean by this? (It's in the first paragraph and fourth or fifth sentence, I believe.)
- "mTORc1 and 2 share the same core protein complex of 2549 amino acids, which contains seven conserved domains, written from the N- to the C- terminus as HEAT, FAT, FRB, kinase, NR, and FATC domains."
- Could you reword the latter portion of this sentence to make it clearer?
Jnims (talk) 23:16, 18 February 2013 (UTC)
Ian's Fact Checking
editLooks good to me. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Hakkinen2013 (talk • contribs) 04:19, 19 February 2013 (UTC)
Assignment 3 Wikipedia Editing
editYou have done a good job citing your sources; however, if you are using the same source to cite consecutive sequences, you could probably consolidate the in-text citations instead of citing every sentence in some cases in your edit. Gpruett2 (talk) 04:16, 21 February 2013 (UTC)
Response to These Peer Reviews
edit- Jnims - none of those sentences have made it to the official wikipedia pages.
- Hakkinen2013 - thanks!
- Gpruett2 - I have kept that in mind during my work on the articles
Help us improve the Wikipedia Education Program
editHi Flemingrjf! As a student editor on Wikipedia, you have a lot of valuable experience about what it's like to edit as a part of a classroom assignment. In order to help other students like you enjoy editing while contributing positively to Wikipedia, it's extremely helpful to hear from real student editors about their challenges, successes, and support needs. Please take a few minutes to answer these questions by clicking below. (Note that the responses are posted to a public wiki page.) Thanks!
Delivered on behalf of User:Sage Ross (WMF), 16:46, 10 April 2013 (UTC)
I saw your message on my talk page and had a quick look over the mTORC1 article. It looks like the article is in very good shape, and is well structured and referenced and seems accurate. Personally I think the biggest improvement you could now make is accessibility; when writing anything you need to think about the target audience. Currently the article is at the level of complexity of a specialised review, someone outside of the field will have difficulty getting into the topic. This certainly doesn't mean detail should be removed, just introduced more clearly and with less specialist terms.
For a comparison have a read of Einstein's theory of relativity article. This is obviously a much bigger topic than mTORC1, but look at how it is introduced. A non-physicist would have a good idea about what it is talking about.
I hope this helps! - Zephyris Talk 14:12, 23 April 2013 (UTC)
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