User talk:JennaRosel/sandbox
The first draft of your article looks great! Your writing is clear and well organized. Your progression from the synthesis of argpyrimidine to its role in diabetes, aging, and food chemistry was very effective. The mechanisms you included were very helpful to following the pathways you were discussing.
Notes by section:
- Endogenous synthesis: A wikilink would be useful for the term "polyol pathway". It would also be useful if you explained a couple more of the mechanisms and intermediates shown in your diagrams. In your second figure, you talk about a Cannizzaro-like reaction. I don't think this technical term is entirely necessary.
- Exogenous synthesis: You mentioned Nα-t-BOC-Arg in the exogenous synthesis section. This might be a useful place for a link to another wiki page, or a brief explanation / diagram of the compound. Also, in the first sentence, what do you mean by "higher sugars"? It might be helpful to name specific sugars present in this reaction. Lastly, you say "argpyrimidine is a main compound found in food chemistry." Even though you expand upon this later, this sentence is a little bit ambiguous. You could even combine this sentence with the next. Maybe say, "In food chemistry, argpyrimidine is used in the Maillard Reaction to..." and continue from there.
- Diabetes: This section had some very interesting information!
- Food Chemistry: I would definitely consider adding content to this section to supplement information presented in the exogenous synthesis section. It looks like you have a couple of good sources to do so.
- References: Sources 9 and 10 seem to be repeats.
Great job!
-David
Peer Review
editThe article is clear and concise, but the only thing I would try and improve is the language for the target audience. The audience will most likely be high school or early college students and the language used was a bit hard to understand at times. Perhaps explaining the more difficult science terms could help narrow the gap of scientific knowledge of the audience and the articles.
There are many images provided which are helpful to the visualization of the pathways involved. Images could be improved if there are any other images available besides the pathways, it could help give a better understanding.
All the content is relevant to the topic and no “fluff” is added. Multiple short simple sentences tend to not flow as well as detailed yet concise sentences. Perhaps try to eliminate back to back simple sentences.
More content on the last topic (Food Chemistry) would be interesting to read and useful to expand on since there is one sentence on that topic.
It is very well organized. The headers truly indicate what is in the text below the subsection.
The Wikilinks are functional and are all from academic sites/journals, so they are appropriate. I think given that there are 10 citations there is enough resources to pull from! For source #6 (Canadian Science Journal), the link sent me straight to the website rather than an article. 9 and 10 may be repeats?
The articles are not biased and neither is the Wiki article. The lead section is clear and concise, I would maybe add more about what exactly Argpyrimidine is because there is a lot about the pathway and the production.
Overall, the article is very informative and improved previous information that was there. Keep up the good work!
Xena741 (talk) 21:27, 15 November 2018 (UTC)Xena741