User talk:Jgford1/sandbox

Angela's Peer Review

There is a lot you could add but I see the potential in your article. Your citations so far are credible and should give you a foundation for your writing. Here are just a few notes.

• Please add to your introduction. While it should not have to be too long, your intro should be able to give the reader the main idea of the article and its importance.
• Add pictures! Words are great but a description of an image can only do so much. Use an image to compliment your writing so you can talk more about details of the pediments and its history and not just what it shows.
• In the imagery section write about the importance of the iconography and provide viewpoints from scholars about the significance of it on this pediment
• Add more sections so you don't feel like you have to cram everything into one. Maybe include something about chariot races in general in Greek society and what they meant(if they had one)
• Add background information. Pretend the reader has no previous knowledge on the topic. Who is Pelops? Is this a mythological story?
• Try to diversify your sources. Look up scholars arguments on why this image was used or their position on chariot racing as a part of the culture. There are many roads you can go down.

Please try and develop this article. I'm sure you have more than what is shown but I hope my comments help!

Angela has given you some great suggestions of where to begin to flesh out this article. Right now it is stub, and you will need to add more to get full credit. Try to connect this to athletics. Why are these decorations connected to athletics? What is the significance of its location? Are there other depictions of this scene in architecture or other forms of art? Hopefully these questions will also guide your writing. I would also recommend trying to find more sources to pull from about the topic. Kaylauer520 (talk) 06:15, 26 November 2017 (UTC)

Comments from Prof. Paga

Hi John - you've already got some really good comments from your peer-reviewer, Angela, and your TF, Kathleen. I encourage you to integrate their comments and use them to expand your article. Here are a few suggestions and comments of my own:

• This article is currently a "stub" and will be flagged by Wikipedia for being too short/brief. It might very well be deleted for lack of content.
  
• In addition to images (make sure any images are within copyright!), you might also consider adding a map that indicates where Olympia is, or an image of the temple itself.
  
• You already have several hyperlinks, which is great! If you add a section on the myth, or on chariot racing, for instance, make sure to keep including these links to other Wikipedia pages.
  
• It will help to organize your article into separate sections. Consider starting with a section on "Description" of the figures, then perhaps a section on "Myth" where you discuss the story more, then a section on "Chariot Racing" where you might comment on the role of chariot racing at the Olympic Games. The sections will add organization and also help you flesh out the stub into a full article.
  

Jpaga (talk) 20:09, 27 November 2017 (UTC)