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Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Ninja Gaiden (2004 video game)/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted 00:50, 10 May 2008.

Ninja Gaiden (2004 video game)

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Self-nomination. This video game article has been brought to GA-class and been rated as a Wikiproject A-class material one year ago. It has been brought to a recent peer review and has several issues pertaining to FA criteria resolved. For the issue of prose and grammar, I have rewritten the article for easy readability (tools indicate an average of grade 8–9 — 13&14 years old). I am nominating it for FA because I believe the article fulfills the criteria. Jappalang (talk) 23:19, 2 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Still on the road, so replies won't be as fast as usual. Ealdgyth - Talk 04:53, 3 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose - Needs a lot of work.

  • Fails criteria 1a - lots of places in which the prose could be improved. The flow in the lead is terrible. Consider re-writing the lead, so that it is two concise paragraphs.
  • The quote at the start of the Gameplay section doesn't add anything - it's not even explained or mentioned later on at all.
  • "Each region usually has a linear path connecting its entrances. Encounters populate this path and several off the path areas." - Huh? I'm not following this.
  • "It follows the pacing of a typical action-adventure game;" - The pacing?
  • " The game measures how well players do against four standards:" ...Consider instead: "The game measures players against four standards" or " The game measures player success against four standards"
  • "The Video game remakes Ninja Gaiden Black and Sigma introduced another game mode called Mission Mode comprising short sessions of combat." - Consider this instead: "The video game remakes Ninja Gaiden Black and Sigma introduced Mission Mode, comprising short sessions of combat."
  • I have focused on the first section "Gameplay" - please find someone to copy-edit all sections.
  • Also see User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a.

— Wackymacs (talk) 12:23, 4 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose - The article's use of non-free images fails our policy WP:NFCC. The two box covers at the bottom of the article are clearly both decorative, while the screenshots appear to be chosen at random and do not greatly increase the reader's understanding of the article (WP:NFCC#8). Black Kite 20:10, 4 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I have removed the box covers and an image in the Story subsection. I have replaced the image in the Gameplay section with a GIF that demonstrates the benefits of ultimate techniques. For the image at the start of the Plot and settings section, its caption has been altered to fit the context. Do these actions address your concerns? Jappalang (talk) 00:16, 7 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
If I may chime in here...I personally think the GIF makes it worse. It distracts the reader and since it's so tiny, it really doesn't show a lot or add anything to the article. — Wackymacs (talk) 07:18, 8 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Oppose Does not meet the requirements of 1a. Examples culled from the beginning:
    • "Team Ninja had developed the game" Why the perfect here?
    • "Although it used ...it moved" Ambiguous "it".
    • Second paragraph awkwardly jumps from one disparate topic to another.
    • "Team Ninja went on working on the game" Continued working on the game?
    • "this carried on in" Ambiguous "this". What is being "carried on"?
    • "The Ninja Gaiden saga goes on in..." More use of crude "go on".
    • "Encounters populate this path " What?
    • "several off the path areas" What punctuation is missing here?
    • "There are dragon busts scattered in the regions serving" Awkward passive when active is stronger and works perfectly fine.
    • "third person"
    • "and even run up" Why the "even" qualifier? Sounds more like press release material instead of an encyclopedic article.
    • "It follows the pacing of a typical" The clause after the semicolon describes the structure, not the pacing.
    • "The Video game remakes " Video is capitalized because?
    • "to complete a difficulty to unlock the next harder difficulty." Confusing to laypersons.
    • "God of War lead combat engine designer" What is God of War and what's its relation to Ninja Gaiden (i.e. why is the article talking about this particular designer and his views on Ninja Gaiden)? Link needs disambig. BuddingJournalist 16:27, 5 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support impressive article which I nominated for the GA (like Jappalang's previous work). May even be too detailed (78kb long), but nothing seems superfluous. igordebraga ≠ 22:59, 7 May 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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