Wikipedia:Peer review/Burger King advertising/archive2
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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I am looking to bring it to GA status and complete the set of articles to bring the subject to good topic status. A fresh pair of eyes would help substantially.
Thanks, Jeremy (blah blah • I did it!) 06:41, 12 December 2011 (UTC)
- Comments - a vast article so I'll probably give comments from a top level and re-review if requested.
- If you insist on referring to the company as BK, at least put (BK) after the first time you mention Burger King.
- Infobox has spaced hyphens, it should use spaced en-dashes (per WP:DASH).
- This is the case throughout the article as well, I'll try to pick up some of the as I go.
- infobox, Fast Food is not a proper noun, Fast food is fine.
- "ad agencies" -> "advertising agencies"
- " flop Where's Herb?." avoid double period.
- "1970s/1980s " 1970s and 80s.
- "Where is your God now?." avoid double period.
- "the 18-35 demographic" needs an en-dash.
- From the TOC, what's going on with the section headings? Looks like something needs to be fixed here.
- Also not sure why you're only allowing level 1 headings, at least allow level 2.
- You link Star Wars twice to different articles, perhaps consider the second link being Star Wars series or something.
- "The relationship with George Lucas' Lucasfilm, LTD." don't think you need George Lucas' here...
- "in which Gellar stated that" in which she stated..
- "of a whopper" shouldn't whopper be capitalised here?
- There is also an article on it.
- Images, like the Van Eede one, should be either just
thumb
for landscape orthumb|upright
for portrait images. Don't force images any bigger/smaller in the main article. - General Market -> General market.
- "1958–68 - Hume" should be an en-dash before Hume (see others).
- "2001–2002" should be "2001–02" to be consistent.
- Heading - Modern Campaigns -> Modern campaigns (per WP:HEAD).
- "One of it major" its.
- Rewrite "Other media" section so it's prose rather than bullet points.
- "May 1, 1969-April 30, 1994" spaced en-dash needed here.
- circular is a dab link.
- You use HJ without explanation.
- Is it worth a minor note explaining why Hungry Jacks is used instead of Burger King in certain locations?
- Is the Children's logo section a different format to the others? The text is smaller. Be consistent.
- What does QSR mean?
- Second para of Non-product oriented advertising is unreferenced.
- Children's advertising section is woefully lacking in references.
- A lot of detail on the individual members of the Kid's Club characters, probably a little over the top.
- Media Tie-ins -> tie-ins.
- "McDonald's\Ty Beanie Babies" odd angled slash, surely /?
- Don't mix date formats in the references.
- Ensure online references are comprehensive, i.e. have publisher info, access dates, etc. (e.g. look at ref 69, it has nothing)
- Publications like Time should be in italics.
- Many external links appear unnecessary for this specific article.
The Rambling Man (talk) 15:56, 18 December 2011 (UTC)
- I thank you greatly for the review, Ill hopefull get back to this after I return from the Christmas break. --Jeremy (blah blah • I did it!) 17:24, 19 December 2011 (UTC)
- No problem at all. Have a good Christmas. Feel free to ping me in the future when you get back to the article. The Rambling Man (talk) 17:48, 19 December 2011 (UTC)