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Wikipedia:Peer review/Dragons of Winter Night/archive1

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Dragons of Winter Night

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Dragons of Autumn Twilight was recently bumped to GA, and now I want to do the same with the whole trilogy. Suggestions on improvement of the entire article with the intent of a GA in mind are wanted. Also note that these articles have next to no professional reviews (as stated by the author) and those that exist are very hard to find. DoomsDay349 00:47, 15 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]

I feel I owe you something for the effort you've put into the GA reviewing so far, so here goes. The auto review javascript program says:
  • Please expand the lead to conform with guidelines at Wikipedia:Lead. The article should have an appropriate number of paragraphs as is shown on WP:LEAD, and should adequately summarize the article.[?]
  • Watch for redundancies that make the article too wordy instead of being crisp and concise. (You may wish to try Tony1's redundancy exercises.)
    • Vague terms of size often are unnecessary and redundant - “some”, “a variety/number/majority of”, “several”, “a few”, “many”, “any”, and “all”. For example, “All pigs are pink, so we thought of a number of ways to turn them green.”
  • Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a.[?]

You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas.

Some ideas from me would be to thin down the characters section, the book images need fair use rationales, the references would benefit from {{cite web}} or other specific templates - add details to them too, like sourcing and last retrieved date - ref 2 especially. Can you convert the Inspirations section into a paragraph and lengthen the sentences - they seem a bit short. Prose is a bit choppy sometimes - can you make the plot a bit clearer too? Looking good though :) RHB Talk - Edits 01:46, 15 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for such a great review. I'll go through it and see what I can do. DoomsDay349 01:58, 15 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
This copyediting of which you speak, I have heard the term but am not quite sure what it means. What is it, and how might I get it done? DoomsDay349 02:40, 15 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
In trade for your humorous comment about Gurbanguly Berdimuhammedow on the Main Page's talk page, DoomsDay, I'll add a few thoughts here as well. (I'm relatively new to WP, but hopefully they help!)
  • Introduction - Although much of the DL world is traveled in Chronicles and Legends, the two sets do not cover the whole of DragonLance. Also, the article title should only be bolded on its very first mention.
  • Plot - "Comes into play" sounds akward, as I associate it more with a sports team making a substition or a new plot point being introducted for the first time into a story. Perhaps another phrase should be used, such as "The focus shifts / changes / moves to ...". Also, a quotation mark is missing after Illusions and the wikilink for Dragonlance should hide "(weapon)" using a pipe symbol.
  • Inspiration - If you could find more information for this section, it would feel more like an "Inspiration" section than a "Trivia" section. The information you have so far though is very interesting.
Again, hope it helps! - fmmarianicolon | Talk 02:56, 15 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
I've already gotten to a few of these points. I'll fix around those that I haven't. (It's good to know I'm establishing connections XD) DoomsDay349 03:11, 15 February 2007 (UTC)[reply]
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