Wikipedia:Peer review/Garden City High School (Kansas)/archive1

Garden City High School (Kansas)

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for May 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I desperately want this article to become a good or possibly even a featured article. I have worked extremely hard on this article and I would like another opinion on how to improve it. I am extremely grateful for any advice or help on the article. Thank you SO much.

Thanks, Zach Nelson 19:12, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

Quick comment by doncram Hi. I checked whether the old high school building was listed on the U.S. National Register of Historic Places and found that indeed it was, in 1996. So I added an NRHP infobox to the article. It suggests that 1910 was the building date (or another significant date) in contradiction to other info in the article now. You should request a free copy of the NRHP application (and associated photographs) by email to email address: nr_reference at nps.gov (provide your postal mailing address). If it is in electronic form they will email it, otherwise will send by postal mail. This will be a very useful source for you to develop the early history section of the article. NRHP applications are usually written by professional historians.Good luck! doncram (talk) 01:27, 14 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: While it is clear that a lot of work has gone into this article, there are many areas that need to be improved before it is ready for GA, let alone FA. With a future WP:FAC in mind (shoot for the stars), here are some suggestions for improvement.

A model article (or two) is useful for ideas and examples to follow - there are two WP:FAs which are about high schools that seem like they would be great models: Plano Senior High School and Stuyvesant High School
The lead image File:GCHS logo.png has a very questionable free license - it says it is from the school website and appears to be an official school logo, and as such it would be copyrighted (but the license says it is in the public domain). It needs a fair use license and rationale - see WP:FAIR USE. There is also no reason to use the same image twice in one article, and if it is fair use this violates WP:NFCC

I replaced the questionable image and I believe it contains the appropriate tag. JHawk88 (talk) 19:57, 18 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The lead is too short and needs to be expanded to 3 or 4 paragraphs per WP:LEAD. The lead should be an accessible and inviting overview of the whole article. Nothing important should be in the lead only - since it is a summary, it should all be repeated in the body of the article itself. My rule of thumb is to include every header in the lead in some way.

I have lengthened the lead and it has a much more descriptive introduction. I feel like the lead is of appropriate length now. JHawk88 (talk) 19:51, 17 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Article needs more references, for example the whole School layout section has no refs. My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref.

I have added several additional refs and I am still adding more. I feel like the current number of refs is enough or close to it. JHawk88 (talk) 19:59, 18 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Internet refs need URL, title, author if known, publisher and date accessed. {{cite web}} and other cite templates may be helpful. See WP:CITE and WP:V
Article uses a lot of primary references (school's own websites) - are there secondary sources (town history, newspaper articles, etc.) that could be used?

I have added additional secondary sources. JHawk88 (talk) 20:00, 19 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Also make sure that the refs used are from relaible sources and actually mention the fact they are used to back up - for example current refs 14 and 20 do not give the publisher (statsheet.com), and this ref does not say s/he went to the high school, just that the player is from Garden City KS.

I added additional, more reliable sources which prove that he went to GCHS. JHawk88 (talk) 14:21, 20 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I also note that when the same ref is used more than once (like refs 14 and 20) you can use the <ref name = "blah">Reference text</ref> then the next time you use it just insert <ref name = "blah"/> and it will be used again.
Watch out for peacock language like Throughout decades of athletic success and state championships, Garden City High School has established itself as one of the top athletic programs in the state of Kansas. - try to make the article more encyclopedic in tone. Generally the examples themsleves prove the point - Show, Don't Tell and WP:PEACOCK see also WP:NPOV

I have fixed the peacock language and will continue to try to use a NPOV from now on. JHawk88 (talk) 19:51, 17 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

When an abbreviation is used, define it the first time so add (WAC) after the first use of Western Athletic Conference

I have added abbreviations. JHawk88 (talk) 19:51, 17 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I think there needs to be a little bit about the city the school is in - are there other high schools in the same place (public or private)? How populous is the city?
The article seems to focus too much on athletics - high schools are primarily for edcuation, though sports play an important role.

I have trimmed the athletic section slightly and have significantly lengthened non-athletic paragraphs to take some emphasis off of the athletic section. Additionally, I intend to include other clubs and activities which are non-athletic. JHawk88 (talk) 20:02, 18 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Notable golfers need to be with notable alumni. Notable alumni should generally be confined to people who are notable enough to have their own article on Wikipedia - see WP:NN

I eliminated the notable golfers in large part because they do not have their own Wiki pages. JHawk88 (talk) 20:02, 18 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Needs more images - can you take a picture of the current high school buildings? I also did not have a really clear sense of the physical layout of the various buildings, where are they with respect to each other?

I have added an image of the front entrance to the current high school as well as another picture to help illustrate the history of the school. I will continue to try to add images that I can find. Additionally, I will try to properly tag images that I can use. JHawk88 (talk) 20:02, 18 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 17:15, 14 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]