Article seems pretty good as it is, but it could do for improvements. - A Link to the Past (talk) 04:50, August 21, 2005 (UTC)
Redwolf24's Review
editI, Redwolf24, will be working on this peer review. Strike out things once changed please.
- Could use more links in lead-in paragraph. Link to turtle.
*Perhaps lengthen the lead-in.
* He rides on a cloud and throws Spinies, turtle-like creatures with spiked shells, at Mario (or Luigi for the second player), the game's protagonist <---change to throws spinies at the game's protagonist, Mario (or Luigi for the second player). Sounds less choppy IMO.
- I disagree with the deletion of the definition of "Spinies". Wikipedia articles on game-related subjects often forget that not everyone who accesses an article will be familiar with the subject. In other words, it's important to remember the uninitiated. BrianSmithson 11:32, 22 August 2005 (UTC)
- Oh no that wasn't my intent. My intent was to change the wording with Mario and Protagonist. I just didn't retype it to make this PR quick. I mentioned it in the IRC room to Link too. Redwolf24 20:00, 22 August 2005 (UTC)
*Thumbnail the Mario Kart images and make them a bit smaller. Also, maybe add a pic of MarioKart64?
How about an image of the first fishing lakitu?- Otherwise looking great.
- One more thing, write the pronounciation in the first paragraph. Redwolf24 01:44, 23 August 2005 (UTC)
- See the Talk page. I don't think the English pronunciation is known. I could try to write Nintendo, though. BrianSmithson 13:42, 1 September 2005 (UTC)
Rob Church's Review
editI, Rob Church, will be adding my peer review below also. As for Redwolf24, please strike out anything I raise should you address it.
- I agree, the leader needs more wikilinks and these should be distributed evenly throughout that text.
- Done.
- Consider changing "as neither friend nor foe to" to "as neutral to", in the leader text.
- Done.
- In which of the games was "Mario's quest to save Princess Peach and retrieve the 120 Power Stars"? This isn't made sufficiently clear.
- Done.
- Consider splitting Characteristics into subsections Appearance, Attacks and Defense and move the content about accordingly.
- Idunno. The sections would become awfully short if we did this.
Other comments
edit- Can someone take a screenshot of a Lakitu from one of the Paper Mario games? I think it'd be better than the Super Mario RPG image that is currently there. BrianSmithson 23:55, 22 August 2005 (UTC)
- We need to provide fair use rationale for the images we've included.BrianSmithson 20:22, 24 August 2005 (UTC)