| Toolbox |
|---|
 | This peer review discussion has been closed. |
Looking for ideas to improve this article before taking it to GAN. If possible, promoting it above start class would be appreciated as well.
Thanks, SpartaN (talk) 10:30, 25 December 2017 (UTC)
Comments from Eddie891
edit- Per WP:LEDE, an article this length should have a 2-3 para lede. The lede is currently a sentence, and a paragraph. Suggest expanding first sentence into a separate paragraph.
- Per MOS:SURNAME "After the initial mention of any name, the person should generally be referred to by surname only..." I'd recommend referring to him by his last name unless there is a reason he isn't.
- It's common practice in articles on ancient persons to refer to them as the name they are known as in sources. Also, his much more famous father is Germanicus, and all of the sources refer to him as simply "Nero". It differentiates him from his father, uncle, brother, nephew, and other relatives who took on the surname. If we count "Caesar", or "Julius", as surnames (which Caesar is), then it becomes unclear which Julius Caesar is being referred to as all members of his family were Julii Caesares (and some were much more popular and well known as "Caesar").
- My mistake. Eddie891 Talk Work 21:51, 8 January 2018 (UTC)
- It's common practice in articles on ancient persons to refer to them as the name they are known as in sources. Also, his much more famous father is Germanicus, and all of the sources refer to him as simply "Nero". It differentiates him from his father, uncle, brother, nephew, and other relatives who took on the surname. If we count "Caesar", or "Julius", as surnames (which Caesar is), then it becomes unclear which Julius Caesar is being referred to as all members of his family were Julii Caesares (and some were much more popular and well known as "Caesar").
- "As a member of the Julio-Claudian dynasty," link to Julio-Claudian dynasty
- Are you going to put "AD" with all dates? If so, be careful to maintain consistency; if not, keep consistency in that respect as well.
- fixed
- Per WP:EDITORIAL, try to avoid things like "essentially"
- fixed
- " Sejanus encountered little opposition from the Senate, and Tiberius expressed displeasure in the Senate, " Should these really be in the same sentence?
- fixed (Senate referring to the senate-class, i.e. senators)
- Link to Sejanus
- fixed
- Be careful not to stray too far away from the Nero Julius Caesar, as it seems like a good portion of the article focus is on Sejanus. For instance, this whole paragraph mentions Nero not once. "In 28, the Senate voted that altars to Clementia (mercy) and Amicitia (friendship) be raised. At that time, Clementia was considered a virtue of the ruling class, for only the powerful could give clemency. The altar of Amicitia was flanked by statues of Sejanus and Tiberius. By this time his association with Tiberius was such that there were even those in Roman society who erected statues in his honor and gave prayers and sacrifices in his honor. Like members of the imperial family, Sejanus' birthday was to be honored. According to author and historian Alston, "Sejanus' association with Tiberius must have at least indicated to the people that he would be further elevated." It's clearly necessary, but be careful you don't go too far.
- Good advice. It is hard to get everything into context for obscure figures sometimes.
A fairly good article, overall. Eddie891 Talk Work 02:02, 9 January 2018 (UTC)
- I'll get to work on the other points in a moment. SpartaN (talk) 01:49, 8 January 2018 (UTC)
- Thank you for taking the time to review the article. SpartaN (talk) 04:55, 9 January 2018 (UTC)