Wikipedia:Peer review/The Waiting City/archive1

The Waiting City

I've listed this article for peer review because I have added many sections to it over the past few weeks and would love for someone to go over my work and give me some feedback on areas of improvement. I am new to Wikipedia writing so I would greatly appreciate any feedback I receive regarding:

• My Wikipedia writing style
• The sections I have added and if they follow Wikipedia's Manual of Style for articles about films
• The sources I have used throughout the article and if any need to be removed or improved upon

Thank you and I look forward to hearing the feedback!

Kaexkae (talk) 12:07, 27 May 2021 (UTC)

Comments by Gerald Waldo Luis

Shame that the film peer reviews are very slow in receiving feedback. I'm also having Living in the Age of Airplanes up for review; and still no one has responded. If you're interested in reviewing please do so. In the meantime, here are my comments:

• • Kaexkae, notifying you in case you didn't put this in your watchlist. GeraldWL 18:11, 2 July 2021 (UTC)

Lead

• "The Waiting City is about an Australian couple"-- I'd rephrase it to "The film tells the story of an Australian couple", as the last mention of the title is just two sentences away.
• After the synopsis, a summary of the themes could help expand the lead.
• In the second paragraph: after the release, you could say that the film was polarized among critics.
• The infobox image could benefit from an alt text.
• The infobox citations are not needed, as they are already stated in the body. GeraldWL 13:18, 1 July 2021 (UTC)

Synopsis

• Is that the whole plot or just the synopsis? If it's the whole thing, then change the section name to "Plot."
• "Fiona (Radha Mitchell) and Ben (Joel Edgerton) are" Cast brackets are not needed, as a cast section is available.
• "she is a successful, self-starting lawyer while he is a relaxed, easy-going musician"-- I'd rather change "she" to "the former" and "he" to "the latter" for easier reading flow.
• "Fiona and Ben, who want to adopt a child, travel to India"-- I'd suggest change "Fiona and Ben" to "The couple" for less repetition.
• "However, once they arrive in Calcutta (now Kolkata)"-- does the film say Calcutta or Kolkata? Cause either are correct, and you don't have to state both.
• "little happens quickly in India"-- India should be linked at the "travel to India" part instead of here.
• "clients at home via the internet and deals with the legal red tape" Capitalize the "i" in "Internet" and link red tape; remove "legal."
• "survive a flight to Sydney"-- link Sydney. GeraldWL 13:18, 1 July 2021 (UTC)

Cast

• Regarding the redlinks, are those people notable? Per WP:REDLINKS, only notable people are deserving of a link. GeraldWL 13:18, 1 July 2021 (UTC)

Themes

• Rule of thumb is the production section first, then themes.
• All the subsections are just one-paragraphed, so subsections are not needed.
• So in "gender roles" and other sections, your reference pattern is as follows: 4-4-4-4-4-4-4-5-5-4-6-4-6-4. In "4-4-4-4-4-4-4-5-5" you have a case of duplicate citations. You don't need a citation for every sentence, if it's the same source, you can save it till the very end of the sentence it supports. I've done this myself so you can see how it works, cause it's hard to instruct you here. Don't worry though -- I've seen this mistake among very professional editors, even older than me. GeraldWL 13:18, 1 July 2021 (UTC)

Production

• Usually development and pre-production is combined.
• In "pre-production", combine the first and second paragraph.
• The "post-production" part seems to omit Michael as the score composer. GeraldWL 13:18, 1 July 2021 (UTC)

Release and reception

• There's no need for a "film festival screening" subsection, as far as I'm aware. You can also combine all the four paragraphs.
• "The Waiting City premiered at the 2009 Toronto International Film Festival in the Special Presentation"-- delink "2009 Toronto International Film Festival", as it has been linked prior.
• You can combine "box office" with "release" as a separate paragraph.
• IMDb user ratings and reviews are considered unreliable (WP:IMDB), unless the author of a review(s) is/are someone of expertise in filmmaking.
• "award for Veronika Jenet, beating films Animal Kingdom and Bright Star." Delink Veronika Jenet and Bright Star.
• "Bright Star and Mao's Last Dancer, and the Best Editing award for Veronika Jenet, beating films Animal Kingdom and Bright Star." Italicize Bright Star and Animal Kingdom. GeraldWL 13:18, 1 July 2021 (UTC)

Sources

• Most of your sources are reliable-- except for IMDb, which is considered generally unreliable (see WP:RSP). You don't have to remove it on external links though; it is OK and recommended for there to be IMDbs in film articles. GeraldWL 13:18, 1 July 2021 (UTC)
• Also, remove the stub tag-- it's not one anymore.

Overall

You do a relatively great job at making the article. It has all the general information expected in a film article. To answer your concerns, except for the concerns I pointed above, your style seems on par with WP's guidelines and MOS. I would recommend looking for more information that could improve the article more. After you've addressed the concerns above, consider nominating it for WP:GAN-- I can't guarantee success, but hopefully. Good luck! GeraldWL 13:18, 1 July 2021 (UTC)