Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/How a Mosquito Operates/archive1

Addressed comments from Crisco 1492

• The second of his animated films, - Do you need "animated" here?
  • I guess not. Removed. Curly Turkey (gobble) 10:18, 18 August 2013 (UTC)
• , in which a mosquito preys on a sleeping man; the mosquito's abdomen swells as it draws blood until it explodes. - you already have a synopsis above
  • Merged. Curly Turkey (gobble) 10:18, 18 August 2013 (UTC)
• The technical quality of McCay's animation was unmatched until Walt Disney's feature films appeared in the 1930s. - do you need to repeat this? you have this in the first paragraph (kinda) as well
  • Does it really? I thought the later statement expanded on the earlier. Curly Turkey (gobble) 10:18, 18 August 2013 (UTC)
• Few of the opinions you put forth are attributed to their originators.
  • For example? Everything in the Reception section is attributed. Curly Turkey (gobble) 10:18, 18 August 2013 (UTC)
    • " horrifying to watch", for instance. These are not NPOV terms. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 10:36, 18 August 2013 (UTC)
      • I've attributed this to McCay. I don't see any others like this. Do you? Curly Turkey (gobble) 13:36, 18 August 2013 (UTC)
        • No, nothing as blatant. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 13:47, 18 August 2013 (UTC)
• Why not base the synopsis on the film in the article?
  • Sorry, I don't understand. Curly Turkey (gobble) 10:18, 18 August 2013 (UTC)
    • Why not base your synopsis on the version you've already uploaded (i.e. why are you just basing it on what secondary sources say?) — Crisco 1492 (talk) 10:36, 18 August 2013 (UTC)
      • I guess I'm citation-anal. I know the rules allow us not to cite plot summaries, but that seems to me...Idunno...like copping out or something. Curly Turkey (gobble) 13:36, 18 August 2013 (UTC)
        • You may be citation-anal, and I cited anal, but anyways... it would allow you to build a longer plot summary if you need to. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 13:41, 18 August 2013 (UTC)
          • I'll keep it in mind. Curly Turkey (gobble) 20:45, 18 August 2013 (UTC)
• How a Mosquito Operates was McCay's second film. The animated sequences in Little Nemo - doesn't quite flow right, particularly as you've already described his first film
  • Removed the first sentence. Curly Turkey (gobble) 10:18, 18 August 2013 (UTC)
• Émile Cohl (1857–1938) - YOB/DOB at first mention, I'd think, if needed at all
  • Removed. Curly Turkey (gobble) 10:18, 18 August 2013 (UTC)
• including a story in Little Nemo where Nemo is attacked by a swarm of mosquitoes after returning from a trip to Mars. - do we have this story on Commons?
  • I have digital copies of all of them that I aven't finished uploading to Commons. I'll hunt it down. Curly Turkey (gobble) 10:18, 18 August 2013 (UTC)
    • Tracked it down. It's File:Little Nemo 1910-10-23.jpg, in which an endless swarm of monstrous mosquitos attacks a blimp. Curly Turkey (gobble) 13:36, 18 August 2013 (UTC)
      • Link it, through a footnote maybe, like at Gertie? — Crisco 1492 (talk) 13:44, 18 August 2013 (UTC)
        • Done. Curly Turkey (gobble) 20:45, 18 August 2013 (UTC)
• What's the point of using sfnm when you precede it with an sfn template?
  • That's to keep Crisco busy. (Fixed). Curly Turkey (gobble) 10:18, 18 August 2013 (UTC)
    • Har har. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 10:36, 18 August 2013 (UTC)
• Otherwise looks quite nice. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 08:19, 18 August 2013 (UTC)