Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/Nightswimming (Awake)/archive1

Addressed comments from Crisco 1492

Image comments

• File:Steve Lawrence-Eydie Gorme-publicity.jpg has no indication that the back was copyright notice free (some publicity stills have the notice on the back, although not all)
  • Done. TBrandley 00:27, 2 September 2012 (UTC)
• File:Awake S01E08.jpg - We don't need an image to visualise a man nude.
  • Done. TBrandley 00:29, 2 September 2012 (UTC)

Otherwise okay. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:10, 2 September 2012 (UTC)

Prose comments from Crisco 1492

• 2.80 million or 2.8 million? Why the extra 0?
  • Done. TBrandley 00:30, 2 September 2012 (UTC)
• Why the Easter egg at 18 and 49? Just state Nielsen ratings
  • Done. TBrandley 00:31, 2 September 2012 (UTC)
• Perhaps indicate a transition from series overview to episode plot.
  • Sorry; not really sure. I'm not really sure how I would do that. Any way? Thanks, TBrandley 00:32, 2 September 2012 (UTC)
    • Something like "In this episode" or "In "Nightswimming"" — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:39, 2 September 2012 (UTC)
      • Done. TBrandley 00:40, 2 September 2012 (UTC)
        • Sorry, I meant in the lede. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 01:34, 2 September 2012 (UTC)
          • Ooh, okay, sure. Done. TBrandley 01:38, 2 September 2012 (UTC)
• eight guest performances or eight guest actors?
  • Done. TBrandley 00:34, 2 September 2012 (UTC)
• items for Goodwill due to Oregon. - I'm not understanding this.
  • Done. TBrandley 00:36, 2 September 2012 (UTC)
• "but do not find the person whom they would like to interview, Greg, about the whereabouts of Alina." - This reads a little awkward. Perhaps "but do not find Greg, the person whom they would like to question regarding Alina's whereabouts."
  • Done. TBrandley 00:37, 2 September 2012 (UTC)
• "Afterward, they speak to Greg," - When did he come in?
  • Done. TBrandley 00:39, 2 September 2012 (UTC)
• "As they leave, however, Hollander, who is tied up, kicks down a table in the living room, notifying the cops that he is in there." - That's a lot of commas. Any way to simplify it?
  • Done. TBrandley 00:44, 2 September 2012 (UTC)
• The bit about Jeffrey Reiner has too many clauses and needs to be simplified.
  • Done. TBrandley 00:47, 2 September 2012 (UTC)
    • It can't be "further installments" if those two were finished first. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 01:34, 2 September 2012 (UTC)
      • Okay; sorry. Done. TBrandley 01:38, 2 September 2012 (UTC)
• "This entry was rated TV-14 in the United States during its original broadcast on television." - This feels like it comes out of nowhere, considering how you spent the last 6 sentences talking about the crew. This and the sentences that follow may be better as their own paragraph
  • Done. TBrandley 00:49, 2 September 2012 (UTC)
• "The installment was filmed in Los Angeles, California, as were all other Awake episodes, which is where Awake is also set in." - Perhaps "The installment was filmed and set in Los Angeles, California, as were all other Awake episodes."
  • Done. TBrandley 00:50, 2 September 2012 (UTC)
• "Contrasting with Sepinwall's opinion, Handlen thought that if the arcs of the "red reality" were not included in this installment, it would not work as an episode." - How's this contrasting? Sepinwall and and Handlen are saying the same thing, but Handlen is using a double negative.
  • Done. TBrandley 00:53, 2 September 2012 (UTC)
• "gave "little mistakes"," - Gave or made?
  • Done. TBrandley 00:54, 2 September 2012 (UTC)

I did a copyedit, be sure to double check.

Thanks for the review, and copy-edit! I did check, looks good. :) I have addressed all of your concerns above. How's the article looking now? TBrandley 00:55, 2 September 2012 (UTC)

Have addressed your next points. Cheers, TBrandley 01:54, 2 September 2012 (UTC)

 — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:35, 2 September 2012 (UTC)

Gen. Quon's Addressed Comments

• Comments Only a few comments:
  • Would it be a good idea to cite the production number?
    • It is cited. See the production section.
  • I don't think websites are supposed to be italicized in the references (Ref 19 is an example). It think it should either be Deadline.com or Deadline.
    • "Deadline.com" is the name, and it's a magazine. So, I think it should be fine. TBrandley 19:00, 3 September 2012 (UTC)
  • For the BARB site, you might want to the note section small, like what I did with "Triangle (The X-Files)". That's just an idea, not really a huge issues.
    • It was small, but I made it larger per MOS:ACCESS. TBrandley 19:00, 3 September 2012 (UTC)
  • That's all I can really find upon my sweep. Great article!--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:55, 3 September 2012 (UTC)
    • Thanks for the review! I have addressed/replied above. TBrandley 19:00, 3 September 2012 (UTC)