Talk:Black Water (memoir)

Some suggestions for GA nomination

@Significa liberdade, great work on this page. I am thinking about doing my first GA review and so am having a look at some of the nominees. While I'm a little nervous to start a full review, some suggestions came to mind for your page which you could take or leave:

• The lead is likely to need to be expanded per MOS:LEAD. This is feedback I've had on my prior GA nominations, as the lead needs to "stand on its own as a concise overview of the article's topic". the bone people is an example page with an expanded lead.
• The background and style sections look a bit thin and make me wonder if the article is sufficiently "broad in its coverage". I wondered if these can be expanded at all? There might be some review comments about the style of his writing that could be included in that section for instance. But then again it might just be a question of what sources are available.
• Minor thing, but the last couple of paragraphs in 'plot' seem like they could form the basis for a 'Themes' section. You could maybe do a "Style and themes" section if there isn't enough on both to form the basis of a single section.

I hope you don't mind my drive-by suggestions! It sounds like a beautiful book, and I've added it to my TBR. Cheers, Chocmilk03 (talk) 22:23, 14 December 2023 (UTC)

Thanks, Chocmilk03! I'll take this feedback into consideration. :) Significa liberdade (she/her) (talk) 22:27, 14 December 2023 (UTC)

Review

@Significa liberdade: Sorry about the review; I didn't see the DYK nom above before doing the article. Chocmilk03 was right in the issues with the article, but I honestly wish you the best of luck in completing the article - we don't have enough coverage of minority cultures, so any article like this is so important; thank you very much for writing about it, and I enjoyed learning about the Swampy Cree :)  Frzzl  talk; contribs  21:23, 6 January 2024 (UTC)

Thanks for the feedback, Frzzl! Significa liberdade (she/her) (talk) 21:26, 6 January 2024 (UTC)

No problem! I also had a look through Beyond Magenta while I was at it, and I'd say it's got similar depth issues. Obvs I'm not going to fail it considering I just did this one, but I'd def take a look at it.  Frzzl  talk; contribs  21:34, 6 January 2024 (UTC)

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Black Water (memoir)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Frzzl (talk · contribs) 21:17, 6 January 2024 (UTC)

Hi Significa liberdade - this article peaked my interest because Native American culture really interests me as a Brit. However, I'm sorry, but I have to fail this review simply because the article seems incomplete, failing good article criterion 3. It's 612 words long at the time of writing, and half of that is the plot summary. Broadly, before re-nomination, here's what's needed:

1. The lead is almost non-existent.
2. Move Background above plot. A much more in depth biography of Robertson is needed to give the reader context; I would aim for around 150-200 words. A few sentences on the history of Native American rights in Canada and of the Cree nation could also be beneficial.
3. The plot needs a copyedit to be a bit more cohesive; it contains analysis, which it really shouldn't. I'd aim for 400-500 words, honestly more if you have the book to hand.
4. The "Style" section either needs large expansion into a full "Analysis" section, or merging into "Reception". There's no point of having a section that's two sentences long.
5. Split the Awards bit into its own section/subsection.

When I was checking whether this article really did cover all the literature concerning it, I thought that I should collate some reliable sources for you to extend the article. From the amount I found, at least a doubling in length is reasonable; 1300 words doesn't seem like a bad target.

Sources about Robertson and the book itself that seem helpful (apologies if any have already been used):

• Cormack, Jude (2023-04-28). "Book Review of Robertson, David A. (2020). Black Water: Family, Legacy and Blood Memory. Toronto: HarperCollins Publishers". Canadian Journal of Family and Youth / Le Journal Canadien de Famille et de la Jeunesse. 15 (3): 271–275. doi:10.29173/cjfy29940. ISSN 1718-9748.
• Soriano, Drew (2023-01-01). "Book Review of Robertson, David A. (2020). Black Water: Family, Legacy and Blood Memory. Toronto: HarperCollins Publishers". Canadian Journal of Family and Youth / Le Journal Canadien de Famille et de la Jeunesse. 15 (2): 75–79. doi:10.29173/cjfy29873. ISSN 1718-9748.
• Barnes, Mary (2021-08-26). "Black Water: Family, Legacy, and Blood Memory by David A. Robertson – Prairie Fire: a Canadian Magazine of New Writing". Prairie Fire. Retrieved 2024-01-06.
• Priegert, Portia (2020-08-24). "David A. Robertson". Galleries West. Retrieved 2024-01-06.
• "Award-Winning Author David A. Robertson Appointed Editorial Director of New Imprint at Tundra Book Group". Penguin Random House Canada. 2022-09-27. Retrieved 2024-01-06.
• "David A. Robertson (2022)". UC Davis School of Education. 2022-10-25. Retrieved 2024-01-06.
• Downey, Crystal (2023-01-01). "Book Review of Robertson, David A. (2020). Black Water: Family, Legacy and Blood Memory. Toronto: HarperCollins Publishers Ltd". Canadian Journal of Family and Youth / Le Journal Canadien de Famille et de la Jeunesse. 15 (1): 180–184. doi:10.29173/cjfy29886. ISSN 1718-9748.
• Zhu, Eva (2021-05-21). "David A. Robertson wins two 2021 Manitoba Book Awards for memoir Black Water". CBC. Retrieved 2024-01-06.

Apologies, but happy editing -  Frzzl  talk; contribs  21:17, 6 January 2024 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.