Talk:Case deBruijn/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

---

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Gonzo fan2007 (talk · contribs) 18:41, 23 August 2023 (UTC)

I'll do this one. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 18:41, 23 August 2023 (UTC)

Lead

• The first sentence is a lot to handle. Maybe just end it after placekicker and then say He played on game...

Early life and education

• When young, his family moved to a suburban community in Washington, I know this is silly, but you probably need to mention that he moved to America. his family moved to America, settling down in a suburban...
• 1982 NFL Draft, only behind Rohn Stark you can delete , only

Professional career

• Was he a one-step kicker, or a three-step kicker? Can you clarify.
• , who they had just released in favor of deBruijn a week prior repetitive to the sentence earlier. Can just delete.
• He felt confident in camp, saying "I felt that I was going to have a chance. the repetition of "felt" isn't great. Maybe just He was confident
• as part of the roster cuts either just "roster cuts" or "their roster cuts"

Later life

• Maybe tack on the mining company before Newmont.

References

• Ref #1 and #7, #12, #13 and #17 have a different date format.
• Spot checks:
  • Ref #3 looks good.
  • Ref #6 looks good in both uses.
  • Ref #7 looks good.
  • Ref #10 looks good.
  • Ref #15 looks good.
  • Ref #18 looks good.
  • Ref #22 looks good.

Looks good, putting on hold. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 22:31, 23 August 2023 (UTC)

• @Gonzo fan2007: I believe I've addressed all of your points. BeanieFan11 (talk) 18:41, 24 August 2023 (UTC)
  • Nice work, passing. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 19:22, 24 August 2023 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.