Talk:Elmer Wilkens

Latest comment: 1 year ago by Gonzo fan2007 in topic GA Review
edit

Hello fellow Wikipedians,

I have just modified one external link on Elmer Wilkens. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:

When you have finished reviewing my changes, please set the checked parameter below to true or failed to let others know (documentation at {{Sourcecheck}}).

This message was posted before February 2018. After February 2018, "External links modified" talk page sections are no longer generated or monitored by InternetArchiveBot. No special action is required regarding these talk page notices, other than regular verification using the archive tool instructions below. Editors have permission to delete these "External links modified" talk page sections if they want to de-clutter talk pages, but see the RfC before doing mass systematic removals. This message is updated dynamically through the template {{source check}} (last update: 5 June 2024).

  • If you have discovered URLs which were erroneously considered dead by the bot, you can report them with this tool.
  • If you found an error with any archives or the URLs themselves, you can fix them with this tool.

Cheers.—InternetArchiveBot (Report bug) 17:10, 13 July 2016 (UTC)Reply

GA Review

edit

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


GA toolbox
Reviewing
This review is transcluded from Talk:Elmer Wilkens/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Gonzo fan2007 (talk · contribs) 02:43, 19 August 2023 (UTC)Reply


I'll review this in a few days. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 02:43, 19 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

Lead

edit
  • In the infobox, 6–7 looks like a record. Maybe 6 or 7 with a link to the same note (Note b)
  • Recommend splitting the part about playing in the NFL into its own sentence.

Early life and education

edit
  • He attended Fort Wayne High School there, being one of only three of their alumni ever to make it to the National Football League (NFL). -> He attended Fort Wayne High School and became one of only three of their alumni ever to make it to the NFL.
  • I think this section suffers a bit from WP:OVERLINK, but its nothing I would hold up the nom for. But things like basketball, freshman, sophomore, quarterback, senior, etc are a bit much for me.
    • I delinked qb, football and basketball, but I think freshman, sophomore and senior are better to link; at other GA/FA reviews on football I believe I've seen reviewers suggest linking those terms.
  • rival is a bit of an WP:EASTEREGG, not sure the link to Old Oaken Bucket is warranted or expected, especially if it isn't reference by name in the article.
    • The Old Oaken Bucket is the article on the Purdue/Indiana rivalry - I think it makes sense to link.
  • ...as the last game at their long-time stadium, Jordan Field comma probably isn't needed here.

Professional career

edit
  • You can just say "NFL" since you already spelled it out in the lead.

Later life and death

edit
  • This section suffers a bit from short, fragmented sentences. Could you look at options for combining sentences? (like owning the business until enlisting)
  • Similar to the other article, he enlisted in the military or Army, not into the war. Recommended rewording a bit to note his enlistment and then service in World War II.

References

edit
  • Refs 23 through 27 should include the link and url-access field, if available.
  • Refs 1, 2, 3, 9, 10, 13, 19, 20, 22 should have an access-date field.
    • Unless I'm missing something, it appears each one already does?
  • Archived the links.
  • Spot checks:
    • Ref #4 looks good.
    • Ref #5 looks good.
    • Ref #8 looks good.
    • Ref #14 through #18 all look good.
    • Ref #21 looks good.

Images

edit
  • All the photos are PD and appear appropriately tagged.

Looks good, putting on hold. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 20:02, 21 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.