Talk:Herb Franta/GA1
Latest comment: 1 year ago by Gonzo fan2007 in topic GA Review
GA Review
editThe following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Gonzo fan2007 (talk · contribs) 19:34, 20 August 2023 (UTC)
I'll review this one. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 19:34, 20 August 2023 (UTC)
Lead
edit- Link NFL champion to History of the National Football League championship.
Early life and education
edit- You already spelled out NFL, so you can just use he acronym here.
Professional career
edit- In the lead it says the Minneapolis Marines, but here and n the infobox it says Minneapolis Red Jackets. Be Consistent.
forwards
is a very rare term for football/NFL today. Anyway to provide a note or summarize that in a better, more understandable way for today's reader?- I'm actually somewhat unsure myself, lol. I do think its a good quote, though - maybe a note that says something like
A forward was a historical football position / A forward was a historical football position that referred to...
or maybe some more details in the note if we're sure of what it is exactly?
- I'm actually somewhat unsure myself, lol. I do think its a good quote, though - maybe a note that says something like
Later life and death
edit- I would recommend ending the first sentence after
Katherine K Franta
and then combing the next two sentences intoIn 1942, Fanta was working for the Minnesota State Highway Department, although he also enlisted in in the United States military the same year to serve during World War II.
- Some details to possibly add: the marriage produced four children, he worked for the CCA and worked at O'hare field (do you know what CCA stands for, something airline related?), add some more info on the car crash (it is pretty interesting, he fell asleep at the wheel with his two sons in the car, hit a tree, brok ehis neck and died the next day).
- I added that Franta had four children and details regarding the crash, but I'm unsure what the CCA/O'hare field were so I didn't include those.
References
edit- Tell me about Reference #21. How are you accessing this reference? And why isn't a link able to be included?
- I accessed it from [1] from the Wikipedia Library - I don't think including that url would be helpful, maybe I could include the plain ancestry url (?), although that would be paywalled, and I'm unsure how I'd note it for the reference.
- Spot checks:
- Ref #1 is good in all six uses
- Ref #2 is good.
- Because you are quoting, I would move Ref #5 to right after
"star" player
(I would actually use a larger quote and just use what the article says:"star tackle"
- Ref #7 is good in both uses.
- 12 is good.
- Ref #17: "Cal" is George Whitney Calhoun, just fyi. You can add his full name or use author-link to link "Cal" to his article.
See also/External links
edit- I would delete the very generic "See also" section, not very helpful
- Per WP:FINDAGRAVE-EL, I'm not seeing the importance of the Findagrave external link.
Looks good, putting on hold. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 16:51, 21 August 2023 (UTC)
- @Gonzo fan2007: I've either fixed or replied to each of your points; also, something I noticed: I screwed up in waiting to fix the urls until after you had archived them, leaving the readers with this as the archive-url; do you think you'd be able to fix it? BeanieFan11 (talk) 17:41, 21 August 2023 (UTC)
- Looks good, passing. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 18:48, 21 August 2023 (UTC)
- @Gonzo fan2007: I've either fixed or replied to each of your points; also, something I noticed: I screwed up in waiting to fix the urls until after you had archived them, leaving the readers with this as the archive-url; do you think you'd be able to fix it? BeanieFan11 (talk) 17:41, 21 August 2023 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.