Talk:Piri

Helpme

I suspect some of the images on this page could do with cropping, except I have genuinely no idea how to do this. Launchballer 12:20, 12 February 2023 (UTC)

@Launchballer:They're cropped and etc. over at commons.wikimedia.org. If you have not edited there, I would suggest you ask for help on this one over at Wikipedia talk:Did you know. You can also request help on this at Wikipedia:Graphics Lab/Photography workshop. — Maile (talk) 18:12, 12 February 2023 (UTC)

"beat goes stupid"?

I could use some clarification here. Given the context, that sounds like it is supposed to be a complement, but I'm genuinely unsure how to interpret it as one. —Compassionate727 ^(T·C) 19:27, 26 March 2023 (UTC)

Compassionate727: just saw this. One of the dictionary definitions of mad is 'very exciting'; I assumed she meant it similarly to that.--Launchballer 06:45, 14 April 2023 (UTC)

IPA

I was wondering what the WP:IPA is for froge.mp3 (per piri & tommy: Student Radio Class of 2023, it rhymes with rogue). Launchballer 06:42, 14 April 2023 (UTC)

Primefac: to make it clear, I would like to add the IPA for froge.mp3 to the article.--Launchballer 07:30, 14 April 2023 (UTC)

You'll probably want to use {{IPAc-en}} then. If you want more help, change the {{help me-helped}} back into a {{help me}}, stop by the Teahouse, or Wikipedia's live help channel, or the help desk to ask someone for assistance. Primefac (talk) 08:06, 14 April 2023 (UTC)

Glitch

There appears to be a glitch at the top of piri#2023–present: "Feel It", "updown", and "fumble"; on my netbook, no text wraps around the image.--Launchballer 18:58, 20 May 2023 (UTC)

Thanks, I am not sure why that's doing it, but I've found a way to make it stop doing that. Will seek some technical back-end solutions. If you want more help, change the {{help me-helped}} back into a {{help me}}, stop by the Teahouse, or Wikipedia's live help channel, or the help desk to ask someone for assistance. Primefac (talk) 20:15, 20 May 2023 (UTC)

Sex worker

Found this article via Wikipedia:Peer review. My only comment is about the use of the word "sex worker." Is this phrase supported by any reliable sources? Is there another way to convey this using wording that more closely mirrors what is said in these sources? Happy editing! Uri24 (talk) 18:44, 26 July 2023 (UTC)

Sex worker appears to be the preferred term for users of that platform according to several reliable sources (The Guardian, BBC, Vox), and she has described her content as "sex work" in several sources (Polyester, The Times, Lancaster Student Union), with the first two also describing OnlyFans as a sex work platform, and the last containing Piri's description of what she posted at the time (which is quite clearly sex work). I can't cite this for obvious reasons, but this Twitter thread from less than a day after I changed it from "pornographic content creator" makes me laugh every time.--Launchballer 21:26, 26 July 2023 (UTC)

Comments

@Launchballer: as promised, I'll have a look at the article and will provide commentaries on prose and structure.

Lead

• Per MOS:ROLEBIO, I would use roles which she is commonly described with i.e. singer-songwriter or if she is notable for her dancing, you could include it. Sundry or miscellaneous roles need to be removed in the lead prose and in the infobox. Singer, songwriter and dancer would suffice IMO.
• Her single "Soft Spot" charted at No. 20 on the UK Independent Singles Breakers Chart -- I would not star the first sentence of the second para with her but instead refer to her as McBurnie or Piri, whichever applies. It could also benefit from mentioning when it was released.
• and No. 13 on the UK Dance Albums Chart respectively -- comma before respectively
• "Soft Spot" made No. 59 on Rolling Stone's "200 Greatest Dance Songs of All Time" -- I would use ranked instead of made
• and has been described by NME as one of TikTok's biggest hits -- I would avoid using words like hits or biggest hits as these can come across as WP:PEACOCK. Perhaps tweak it for a more neutral wording.
• What is a frog motif? -- maybe a link to an article if this is a fashion trend would help provide context.
• Not sure if the inclusion of TikTok and her # of followers need mentioning in the lead, there's plenty more out there who have probably amassed more followers than her. This can be covered in the "Social media" section IMO.

Life and career

• The sub-sections from 2020 to present feels overwhelming with 6 singles in the headings. Perhaps choose the most significant and keep it to under 3 or 2. I understand she hasn't released an LP, but listing all the singles she released feels over the top.

More to come. Pseud 14 (talk) 21:09, 29 August 2023 (UTC)

Many of her works incorporate frogs in some way, so Froge.mp3 and Froge.tour were named after a derivative of the word, the Words, On & On, Updown, Nice 2 Me, and Lovergirl music videos all incorporate frogs in some way, she regularly wears a frog hat and hands them out at gigs, and a frog ribbiting can be heard in Updown's drop. I go into as much detail as RSs allow in the "Music videos and stage" section. "Biggest hits" is a quote; I already attribute NME, so I might as well put the phrase in quote marks. All other suggestions implemented.--Launchballer 22:06, 29 August 2023 (UTC)

I see, thanks for the context. Saw the frog hat in one of the images. Pseud 14 (talk) 18:51, 30 August 2023 (UTC)

1999–2020: Early life

• was born on 14 March 1999[2] to an Asda manager and a human resources manager,[3] and grew up in Rochdale. -- it feels vague and reads a bit awkward when it is presented without information of who's the mother and father. Suggest tweaking to Sophie Leigh McBurnie was born on 14 March 1999 and grew up in Rochdale. Her mother, a xxx manager, was a fan of R&B and hip-hop, while her father, a xxx manager, was a fan of rock and guitar-based music, and neither could stand the others' tastes. Also maybe tweak the second instance of was a fan of so it isn't repeated.
• she wanted to become a lecturer after being inspired by her organic chemistry lecturer -- lecturer within close proximity to each other; I would revise the other with a suitable alternative i.e. teacher/professor.
• that she was listening to large amounts of tech house while writing her dissertation -- not sure if large amounts is the right way to quantify her music consumption. Perhaps she frequently listened to tech house...

2020–2022: "Soft Spot", "Beachin", and "Words"

• The pair's follow up single -- follow-up single
• The success of "Soft Spot" meant that McBurnie and Villiers were both nervous to release "Beachin" - this seems unclear, were they nervouse to release the latter single following the success of Soft Spot? If so, perhaps it can be worded as After the success of "Soft Spot", McBurnie and Villiers were both nervous to release "Beachin"
• In the week after its release, the band went on a three-day tour,[32] which attracted stage invasions. In May 2022, the pair performed at a TikTok showcase at The Great Escape Festival, their first festival performance, and with a loop of their most watched TikTok videos playing on a screen to their right,[33] and McBurnie joined a group chat, "Ladies Making Noise in London", set up by Coupdekat and Maisi,[34] the latter of whom had befriended McBurnie at the start of 2022.[35] -- this is a very long sentence, considering splitting.

2022: "On & On", Froge.mp3, and "Unlock It"

• They then signed to Polydor and released "On & On" -- who is they? specify
• and about fatigue experienced at the end of a festival. -- about the fatigue experienced at the end of a festival.
• the song was nominated for "Hottest Record of the Year". -- specify which organization they received the nomination from
• the mixtape Froge.mp3 (/froʊɡ/) -- the IPA translation isn't necessary as it is provided in the mixtape article

2023–present: "Updown", "Fumble", and "Nice 2 Me"

• would release previously recorded music, and planned to work together in the future. -- and that they would release
• On 27 May 2023, she performed "Words", "Say It", "Soft Spot", "Updown", "Beachin", "Nice 2 Me", "Fumble", "Gypsy Woman", "On & On", and Sammy Virji's remix of "On & On" at BBC Radio 1's Big Weekend -- this seems very list-y, I would just simplify and mention she performed at BBC Radio 1's Big Weekend.
• Will get to the rest tomorrow. Pseud 14 (talk) 19:49, 30 August 2023 (UTC)

Dad's the Asda manager, though there is no secondary source that says that. The source says 'lecturer' twice and technically teacher/professor mean slightly different things to lecturer, so I've flipped it 'during which time she was inspired by her organic chemistry lecturer, and wanted to follow her into the profession'. The source says 'loads of tech house', so I've reworded it to 'and that she was in a tech house phase'. And as for Loud LDN, it's really, really annoying I can't put 'the following day', since I know for a fact it was set up on 16 May, but again, there is no reliable source for it.

I've cut the Big Weekend set down to 'her six BBC Radio 1 "Hottest Record"s, "Say It", "Soft Spot", and a cover of "Gypsy Woman"', although ""Hottest Record"s" seems incredibly messy, and I'm wondering how due it is given that I'm citing the program itself. I may cut that and similar lists altogether, though I need longer to decide. I think I've implemented everything else. Launchballer 22:28, 30 August 2023 (UTC)

I've made a point of noting that Nice 2 Me was her sixth Hottest Record (source doesn't say that but I'm pretty sure I'm covered by WP:CALC), and said that "she performed the six" etc.--Launchballer 16:31, 31 August 2023 (UTC)

Artistry

• Piri & Tommy's "On & On"[42] and froge.mp3 -- froge.mp3 should be capitalized.
• the success of Nia Archives and Charli XCX and from the experimentalism of Sophie. -- comma after Charli XCX
• crocheted - maybe wikilink crochet
• such as during Froge.tour. -- during the Froge.tour

Personal life

• She told 1883 -- she told 1883 magazine
• McBurnie is noted for her readiness in sharing her personal life -- maybe openness?
• on International Women's Day 2023 -- in 2023

Awards

• the name of the awards in the table should not be in bold
• The tooltext for Ref. should just say "Reference" since "Ref." insinuates singularity and you do not use more than one in each instance to cite
• Publisher names in listicles should not be in bold -- same as above

Discography

• I would remove the Discography infobox; since this is her main article. (should a separate discography article be created, that would be the appropriate venue to use the infobox)

That's about it. Nice work and a very interesting read as well. Pseud 14 (talk) 20:24, 31 August 2023 (UTC)

All implemented. Thank you so, so much for this. Launchballer 09:10, 1 September 2023 (UTC)

One further question, which I asked in the peer review but didn't get an answer for; several interviews are no longer available and thus I am unable to locate timestamps for them. WP:FACR 2c demands consistent citations - should I take the existing timestamps out?--Launchballer 16:44, 1 September 2023 (UTC)

When you mean it is not available, did you mean online? Any chance there is an archive of it saved at Wayback Machine? If it is, you can still use the archive version to cite. Pseud 14 (talk) 23:14, 1 September 2023 (UTC)

Pseud 14: #5 the Internet Archive tried to capture, but generated a "403 Forbidden". Ofcom only forces radio stations to retain broadcasts for 42 days, so I have a horrible feeling it's gone. #15 I know about from Radio 1 uploading a clip of it to TikTok.--Launchballer 08:15, 4 September 2023 (UTC)

I think what you have in place should be fine, and if the references are considered high-quality and you provide a decent rationale for its use in the absence of alternative independent references during the source review. Pseud 14 (talk) 15:45, 4 September 2023 (UTC)

As a note, I have not combed through the sources. I have not done a review of source-to-text integrity for close paraphrasing and plagiarism, something which first-time nominators will have to go through. One thing to note though for references, article titles should consistently be in either sentence case or title case, irrespective of how they appear in the original, per MOS:TITLECAPS. Pseud 14 (talk) 15:52, 4 September 2023 (UTC)

Copy Edits

I have edited this as part of the current backlog elimination drive drive. I picked the article out of the list of requests at random, read it and thought it looked interesting. I had not heard of Piri before but I will try to listen to some of her work now. I should say that although I love music of many different kinds I am a sad oldie who sometimes jokes that I gave up listening to pop music in 1979 as very little of it impresses me. I hope that this has not affected the quality of my edits and I hope I haven't obscured any facts because of my ignorance. I have two questions, the answers to which may enable me or others to improve the article: 1) The article uses the word "liquid" three times--twice in the phrase "liquid drum and base." Is this a technical term in which case it should stay or is it a term of approval and therefore a matter of opinion, such as might appear in a newspaper article about .a Bach fugue as for example "He played the fugue on the organ showing great liquidity not only with both hands but his feet?." If the latter we need to know whose this opinion is and we need a source. 2) She told the Times she earnt various sums of money in dollars ($) I presume this means US dollars but they could be Canadian, Australian or money from various other places. As she was an English woman living in England talking to an English newspaper did she actually give the figures in British Pounds (£.). As I don't have a subscription to the on line editions of the Times and my paper copy was given to the dustbin man within a fortnight of publication I cannot check what she said. Can the original editor assist or was he or she perhaps reading a foreign edition. I could make a re-calculation based on current values but this might not be right. Note the instruction when editing this article says use British English and this usually means use British money values as well as spelling and language (although a US or Australian equivalent might be given in brackets) Spinney Hill (talk) 21:46, 16 January 2024 (UTC)

"Liquid" drum and bass is a specific style of music, see [1] and Liquid funk. Should probably have a link. — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 23:01, 16 January 2024 (UTC)

It used to have a link when it used to be mentioned in the lede. I've added one. OnlyFans is an American website, and pays in dollars - there's a reason that's in quotes.--Launchballer 23:04, 16 January 2024 (UTC)

A thousand pardons, I assumed the site was American based on the fact it pays in US dollars. It is English, and I've reworded the note.--Launchballer 08:11, 17 January 2024 (UTC)

"praised for having an OnlyFans"

I don't know the subject, but a Ctrl+F for the name of that service didn't really support the lead paragraph assertion that she has been praised for this. The nearest I could find was a quote in which she was praised for being open about having OF. This isn't really the same thing. If another person was praised for being open about experiencing human trafficking or domestic violence, they're not being praised for having experienced it. Unknown Temptation (talk) 07:24, 14 March 2024 (UTC)

Fair cop, changed.--Launchballer 07:29, 14 March 2024 (UTC)