Template:Did you know nominations/Hubert von Goisern

The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:04, 30 November 2012 (UTC)

Hubert von Goisern

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~~... that Austrian musician Hubert von Goisern (pictured) absolved a concert tour on a river boat and met the Dalai Lama?~~

Reviewed: Clathrina canariensis

Created/expanded by De728631 (talk). Self nom at 17:02, 18 November 2012 (UTC)

. The hook is pretty much interesting and the article is new and long enough. The hook is ready to go. — Tomíca^(T2ME) 23:48, 28 November 2012 (UTC)

The hook is problematic in a couple of ways: first, "absolved" is not the right word in that context (and I can't determine what was intended), and second, "river boat" is never explicitly mentioned in the article, and the phrase can have a special meaning (that is, a boat specifically designed for river traffic, which I'm not sure is supported by either article or sources. I've struck the hook; please propose an ALT hook for consideration. Many thanks. BlueMoonset (talk) 04:40, 29 November 2012 (UTC)

Well, here's an alternative:
ALT1: ... that Austrian musician Hubert von Goisern (pictured) literally embarked on a concert tour by boat on rivers across Europe, and also met the Dalai Lama?

De728631 (talk) 12:51, 29 November 2012 (UTC)

I'm not terrifically fond of "literally embarked", but that's what he actually did: set out by boat on a concert tour (travelling by boat and giving concerts from the deck of a boat to people on shore); I have added a comma and an "also" to separate the tour and the Dalai Lama, as the latter-mentioned meeting occurred years before the boat tour. BlueMoonset (talk) 21:58, 29 November 2012 (UTC)

Thank you, I was also tempted to separate the tour and the Dalai Lama. It makes sense. And I do like the "set out by boat" phrase in your comment, so to be on the safe side I'm proposing
ALT2: ... that Austrian musician Hubert von Goisern (pictured) set out by boat on a concert tour on rivers across Europe, and also met the Dalai Lama?

De728631 (talk) 22:52, 29 November 2012 (UTC)

Confirming that ALT2 is fine, and the wording better than ALT1. Thanks! BlueMoonset (talk) 15:56, 30 November 2012 (UTC)