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Template:Did you know nominations/Ricky Elmore

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The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: rejected by PumpkinSky talk 02:24, 7 January 2012 (UTC)

Ricky Elmore

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  • Comment: This would be my fifth DYK!

Created/expanded by Skater (talk). Self nom at 14:31, 15 December 2011 (UTC)

  • Expansion seems to be just long enough for 5x. Date and hook are fine. Much of the article is just a load of statistics, but perhaps that is inevitable when writing about the playing career of an American footballer. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 13:47, 19 December 2011 (UTC)
  • You are actually WRONG - Rick Elmore Never Played 8 man football in High School - I am Ricky's Older Brother, I would know. The High School he went to - Grace Brethren - had an 8 man Football team for a number of years - The school converted to 11 Man division 5 football the year before Ricky Elmore got to High School - Ricky Played 11 Man Varsity Football all 4 years in high school setting Several Caifornia State Records. -- Unsigned comment added by an IP.
  • This unsigned comment may or may not deserve further consideration. Crisco 1492 (talk) 02:28, 20 December 2011 (UTC)
  • Returned to the noms page due to unresolved issues with the hook fact (also see the DYK talk page). --Orlady (talk) 15:39, 20 December 2011 (UTC)
  • Made edits to the article to satisfy my issues with references and punctuation. Also added a reference to the high school's web page that indicates the switch from eight-man to eleven-man occurred in 2002, so the hook is almost certainly incorrect in its assertion, and the IP appears correct in his. When the hook is rewritten, if "linebacker" is still included, the word should be in lowercase. Maybe the three-division rise might be a good alternative? BlueMoonset (talk) 17:07, 20 December 2011 (UTC)
  • The main issue above is with the hook. Let's write a new one:
  • ALT1 ... that NFL free agent Ricky Elmore played at linebacker, quarterback, and tight end on his high school football team?
That hook is sourced. However, before this goes to the main page, though, there's some close paraphrasing that needs fixing. Examples:
  • Structure similar, phrase "during Elmore's time there" is a direct borrowing:
  • Source: Attended Grace Brethren High School in Simi Valley, Calif., a school that began at the eight-man football level in 2002 and ascended three divisions during Elmore’s time there.
  • Article: Elmore attended Grace Brethren High School in Simi Valley, California. The school started as an eight-man football team, switched to eleven-man in 2002, and rose three divisions higher during Elmore's time there.
  • These other examples also show strong similarity in overall structure:
  • Source: Recorded his first two collegiate sacks. At Stanford (Oct. 11): Got his one and only career INT off a tipped ball.
  • Article: Along with the two sacks, he got the only interception of his college career off a tipped pass.
  • Source: Sack total led the Pac-10 and tied for ninth in the nation… Had four multi-sack games and was named to the Ted Hendricks Defensive End of the Year Award watch list.
  • Article: He also led the Pac-10 in sacks with eleven and had four multiple-sack games, a feat which earned him a spot on Ted Hendricks Defensive End of the Year Award watch list.
Surely there are ways to tell about his football career that aren't quite so close to the Green Bay Packers player bio. Additionally, there's some other biographical information that could go into the article, such as the fact that he has a twin brother and the fact that he received a degree from the University of Arizona. --Orlady (talk) 04:07, 31 December 2011 (UTC)
  • Sigh. Chump that I apparently am, I edited the article to fix some (but not all) of the wording issues and add some biographical details. Someone else should look at the article to see what you think of the paraphrasing. --Orlady (talk) 04:29, 31 December 2011 (UTC)
  • Not to discourage you, but after taking a look at the article itself I'm concerned he doesn't pass WP:ATHLETE, which suggests that to be notable athletes must play in at least one professional league game. Crisco 1492 (talk) 10:28, 31 December 2011 (UTC)
  • I've all but given up worrying about WP:ATHLETE, as recently there have been numerous DYKs about athletes that I don't perceive to be particularly notable by any standard. (This is related to the general principle that the "notability" bar is set much lower for entertainers of all types than it is for people in serious lines of endeavor.) Are you proposing this article for deletion? --Orlady (talk) 01:17, 1 January 2012 (UTC)
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